Friendship Quotes Text Messages 1

My heart
is like
an open
book
it dpends
on how
u read
me..
dont judge
me by
my cover..
look
inside
and discover

i will be
1 of ur..

true
friend

forever...


______________________________________________________


8s rare
2 mit
a frnd
as wndrfl
n amzng
as u are
&
nt
many
cud
make
me
smyl
d way u do.
im glad
dt
4 once..
lyf took
a turn
4 d bettr
by lettn me know!...


_________________________________________________________


sooner...
ul
no
longer
fil
my
presens..
ul
nver
evn mz
my absens..
i jz
hope
sumdy
wen
d
roads
mit
agen
ul
stil
b
d prson...

i used to call
"Friend"...


__________________________________________________


frnshp s a
spcl
kind of
love,
more dan
endles
more
dan 2rue.
no mttr
how
far d
dstance,
xpct ur frnd
2 miz
& cre 4 u,
like d way.

"i do"!


___________________________________________________________


im ur frnd
bt GOD
is ur
BESTFRIEND
u cn
cry
to me
bt
GOD
cn dry
ur tears

i
love
you
bt GOD
loves you
DEEPER
u
cn
hold
my hand
bt GOD cn carry
u better!

__________________________________________________________


havin'
someone
like u
in my life
gives me
so many
reasons
to smile,
to be
thankful
to be proud,
& say..

"see? i got
the swEetst
frnd in d world!


____________________________________________________________


4
d tyms
u'r der
4 me
4 ol
d totful
thing
uv
sed & done
4 d jokes
2 cheer
me up
4 a
frndshp
dat mins
so much
i dnt knw hot to
repay u,jst wna
say

thank you...


_____________________________________________________________


a friend
s nver
a coincidence
n ur lyf
dey r
once
a strnger
meant
2 com
in2
ur lyf
2 bring u
priceless
lessons
& funny
memories..

thanks 4 being
one......u


________________________________________________________________


once
d
package
of
frndshp
has
bin
opned,
8
can nver
be closed.
8's
a
constant
book
alwys
written
2 b
read

and
njoyed...
hope
our
book
nver
closes..!


__________________________________________________________


I nver
considered
u
a
friend
even
when we
1st me
i
ddnt
want
2
b
ur friend
dats
b-coz
i wnted
u
2
be
more
dan
a
friend...!!!


____________________________________________________________

Visayan Funny Jokes Text Messages 5

Asa ka? Off lagi imong fone?
Na ospital atong frnd, urgent
kaU kinahanglan daw og...
DUGO NA medyo BIGAON!
Donate pud oi ayw pgdinalo dha!


_______________________________________________________________


SAKOP: Lenti kang
amoha ka! Imo
kong gihimo nga
tawo2x sa
basakan,unya ako
swldo wlay
saka2x! kun
ma2tay ko,kinsa
mopakaon sa akong
pmilya,ikw?
AMO: Eninglisa,kay
patas-on nako
imong swldo.
SAKOP: Lightning
you! Man2x me in
the farm,my
salary did not
climb! If i die
who will eat my
Family,you?


________________________________________________________


KANO:
(gsumbag ang pinoy ug
nahayang)

KANO:
Take it easy men
take it easy!

PINOY:
(mibakod ug
mibalos ug
nahayang ang
KANO)
PINOY: Kisi kisi men kisi kisi.....


_________________________________________________________


Nasuk0 k0
nimo.wla kay
klaro!Wla kay
ikabal0s
nko!gitinarong
man unta tka per0
wla jud ka
katug-an sa tinoud

nga

ANG TIDE 6.25 na lng! Dghan
pagmalabhan!


_____________________________________________________________


s0ri pro wa ko
kauyon sa imu
gbuhat nku..ka
grabe pud nmu oi,
sa akng kaau
nmu nkahimo pa
gyud kag mugna ug
s2rya bahin
nku..nga ak0


"CUTE"
buyag 0i.!


___________________________________________________________


Hoy! bwisit k! kpal
ng mu7kha
mo!plastic mo
pla! Painosente
kpa!Wg mo n kong
ittxt!traydor!
cnungaling!


Direk: "ok,cut"!


Title:
"KINABAHAN KA!"
The movie


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hel0! mztah?i'm
gEtNg marRied nxt
m0nth.
bGlaAn,hilaK jd c
m0m ai! Jz a cMple
prty.ad2 ha? Xpxt q nm0! dnt bRing
any gft
jz bring sum1,hu wiL
marRy mE!


______________________________________________________________


imagine
Lyf
w/0
drnkers!

y
hubog,

y
saba,

y
gubot,
tnan
tao..c0rny!
jologs,,
db boring n?

busa
psLmat
jd ang
klibutan
n nay ta0 prho
nmo!hehe.,


_____________________________________________________________

Tagalog Friendship Quotes Text Messages

True friends r lyk gold. Dey mst be 3surd &
cherizd... lyk U! Sangla kya kta? Wlang
tanggap sayo kc MAHAL ka! So il kip u in
my heart 4ever!


__________________________________________________________


Friends r lyk oranges... ul never knw w/c is
sweet & w/c is not. But im in luck coz i was able
2 find d sweetest orange in U! Ponkan na Ponkan ka!


__________________________________________________________


True friends r hard 2 find kya mahirap akng
hanapin. Real frens r few kya in demand ako...
Frens come & go - dats y I came in2 ur lyf but
I promise not 2 go!


__________________________________________________________


Minsan carng is better dan lovng. Minsan tea s
bettr dan coffee. Minsan smile s bettr dan lafter.
Pro nobody is bettr dan U, my friend...


__________________________________________________________


KAIBIGAN

K-asama mo
A-ko
I-n
B-ad times
I-n
G-ood times
A-sahan mo
N-andito ako 4ever!


__________________________________________________________


Dami gagawin! di pa ko brkfast,
di pa ko ligo, antok pa ako, pro txt
pa rin kta kc SPECIAL ka my FREND!


__________________________________________________________


Pinapili ako sa dalawa - kaibigan o pera.
E, di pinili kita. Teka, may pera ka ba?...

Friendship Quotes Text Messages

FRIEND...

F-inds a way 2 cmfort u
R-emembers 2 say helo anytym of d day
I-nspires u n all ur endeavors
E-mbraces u wen ur alone
N-ever 4gets u
D-ats ME!


____________________________________________________________



A friend is sum1 hu accepts u 4 who
u r, encourages u & does not humiliate u
or put u down.


____________________________________________________________


A gud frnd s like a Computer. She ENTERS
ur life; SAVES u in her heart; FORMATS ur
problms; SHIFTS u 2 opprtunities & nvr
DELETES u frm her memory.


____________________________________________________________


True friends r like <>DIAMONDS<>, they
r real & rare. False friends r like leaves
scattered everywhere. God bless U,
my DIAMOND!


____________________________________________________________


CARE is d main ingredient dat keeps true
friendship alive despite separation, distance
& time. Care sustains love. Since, I can't see
u, let my care be w/u.

Love Quotes Text Messages

LOVE s patient & kind, doesnt envy or boast,
isn't proud or rude, nt selfish, nt easly angerd, kips no
records of wrongs. Luv hates evil, always protcts, trusts,
hope, prseveres....

____________________________________________________________


Love is mor dan a warm feeling. It is a commitment 2 care,
a decision of d heart w/c has nothing
2 do w/ d tempretur of ur feelings...


____________________________________________________________

Love is d emblem of eternity.
it confounds all notion of time, effaces all memory
of a beginning & all fear of an end.

____________________________________________________________

Love is a mysterius string n d souls of mend
ineffable music n d restless blood of 2 young
hearts dat renders each, at once, d master & d slave.

____________________________________________________________

Love demands a loving deed wen we see some1 in need;
We cant say love is true unless we cn prove it by d deeds we do!

___________________________________________________________

Love is not demanding wat u want from each other.
it is accepting d difference in one another...

___________________________________________________________


Love isnt something dat needs to be said....
expression & passion is wer it is found & it goes to
d depths of d heart!

__________________________________________________________

Love does not come in capsules....it is born in ur
heart as God touches ur life...

__________________________________________________________

Love is a dweller in strange places...
it has no single address... bt i hope it will find it's home in ur heart...

__________________________________________________________

Love... can transform and transmute dross to gold!

__________________________________________________________

Real love is not just a matter of helping.... but it is helping those who have nothing to give in return... may u continue to be a blessing to all!

Visayan Funny Jokes text messages 4

Nung
nkita
kta
inaamin
ko
d ko
mpglang
2mingin
s mukha mo
s mta mo
s bibig mo
lahat.
npakaperfect,
tpoz sbi ko sa
sarili koh
wlang
duda

"NETIBO NI"!!;-) hehehe


________________________________________________________


Juan: pedro
sinaksak ako!Hindi
tumitigil ang dugo!
pls call me a
nurse,call me a nurse!
Pedro: cge ur a nurse! Nurse ka juan!
ur a nurse! Nurse kaaaaa!!...u


__________________________________________________________


UMAGAD: iuli ko
ning ako asawa nga buktot!
UGANGAN: ngano
mn nga ghapon pman
inyo kasal?
UMAGAD: kuan mn gud pa,
inig jer2x nmo ba
mgtuwang2x mn,
GIDAGAT ko oi!


________________________________________________________


hikap
hikapa
ang
liki
tuslok
tusloka
ang
tunga


bukikia
ang
pikas
bulikata
ang
buak
inig agas
sa puti
supsopa
ang tunga
ingon ana ang
hustong pgkaon
sa "KAYMITO"....


________________________________________________________


blang
kaibgan
ayw
ktang

mkitang
nssktan,
kya ipgttanggol
kta
s lhat ng
mna2kit
syo.
Kya
pgnkita kng my
lamok


sa noo mo..

prmise!


TIGBASON
jd nk0!....u


____________________________________________________________


Naay nangutana
nko kung pila daw
imong edad,ingon
ko....


kung sa
porma-19

sa panit-17

sa smile-16

ug sa nawong-18

....bali 70 tanan...OK ra???


_____________________________________________________________



pngandoy
jud nko
na
mkauban
ka
sa kwr2
nko
sa kma
nko
ptay
ang suga
ug
Mglukob
ta


pra ipkita
nko sa iMo

nga

reLo nko bag-o!


mUsiga oh!!hehehehe....u


____________________________________________________________


Dear Bulag,

Alm kong di mo pa ako
Nagkta pero pkisabi ky pipi
ibulong kay bingi na nanalo si pilay
sa takbuha.....

Nagmmhal,

Wlang kamay


________________________________________________________


wat f mkasabay mo sa jep
ang mhal mo,ksma pa nya ung
ipinalit niya sayo! ano ggawin mo?
ako,cmple lng! ccgaw aq ng
"Hoy! pLitihi ko! uYab btaw ta sa una!!!


________________________________________________________


Arw-arw dami prblema
kaya 1sang arw 2mingala
aq sa langit at sumgaw
"sana mmatay nlng ako!
e naicp ko,gwapa bya ko kya
sumigw ako ulit "Lord Charlang".....

Visayan Funny Jokes Text Messages 3

Sa kadugay
cgeg txt,
puol na
kau ang
mga pangutana
mzta na,gud am,
gud pm,miz u,
tkcare,hi,hello ug
uban pa,

krn mgpalahi
nsad ta,

nakalibang nka??...(joke3x)



_________________________________________________


Naguguluhan
aq
db
ung
Vic2ry linner,rural linner
grabd linner at super 5 linner ay
mga bus yun eh...yung panty linner
bus dn ba yun?...u


__________________________________________________


Sharon gatas niya alaska
softdrinks nya coca-cola
ice cream niya selecta
ulam niya century tuna,
snck nya mcdo kya
ktwan nya
superferry..sakay na...!!

____________________________________________________


heart wud only luv 4 awyl,
feet cud only walk some mile,
clothes wudnt b 4ever in style
pro kaning ka cute nko, pastilan
ma2d pa sa smart "UNLIMITED"...u


___________________________________________________


Common Mistakes of Pinoys:

"te palit kog colgate kanang close-up"
-ngek! adik sa toothpaste

"sirad-e ang pultahan kai mugawas ang aircon"
-nax! naai tiil ang aircon

"yaya, sugata ang bus ni junior"
-sakto,paligsi c yaya!

"tinuka aq ng ahas!"
-kanus-a pa na manok ang bitin?

"naa qy tonsil"
-great! kami sad!

Inspirational Quotes Text Messages

God said:
f u nvr
flt Pain,
hw wd u knw
im a healer..
F u nvr
flt sadness
hw wd u know
im a comforter,
My child,
f lyf s prfct
wud u still know me..?


___________________________________________________________


"Who shall sparate us frm d love of Christ?"
Nothing and noone! Jesus loves u, my friend. No
matter who u r or wat u r, He loves u! God Bless u!


____________________________________________________________

John 3:16: "...whoevr believs in Jesus Christ shall nt perish bt hav enternal life..." a beautiful, enternal promise! That's hw much He loves us!



_____________________________________________________________


Wat good wil it n 4 man f he gains d whol wrld. yet forfiets his soul?
Jesus loves u, my friend. He died 4 u on d cross at Calvary...
make Him ur Savior Day.


______________________________________________________________

No God - no peace.
Know God - know peace....
May God fill ur heart each day of
ur life & may His joy & peace
envelope u! God Bless u All.


______________________________________________________________


GOD will shower graces more
than u xpected, not just bcoz
u asked 4 them, but sum1
around u prayed & wished
them 4 u! God Bless!..


______________________________________________________________


Sumtyms we ask Jesus y cnt
we hav this nd that? He answers
"so dat u'l hav more of me. d less
u hav, u'll trust Me more..wen u
hav Me more, u'l hav ALL"..


_______________________________________________________________

Tagalog Love Quotes Text Messages

four kinds of love:

• Childhood love
• Puppy love
• Stupid love

Textm8 lang tapos, na inlove
then, sumiklove aba!!! tumalove naging

• true love
  

Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages 1

2 probnxano sumakay sa elavator,
Berto: magkano ibabayd natin?
Ricardo:tanga! bobo! gago! gnorante! bogok! stupido!

Bakit ka magbayad eh wla png kunduk2r.


________________________________________________________


a naked girl rode a
taxi,d girl askd d
drver,"bkit k nktitig?ngyon k lng
b nkkita ng bbaeng
nkhubad?
DRIVER: d mis! iniisip ko
kung san nkatago
pmsahe mo?!?;-)


________________________________________________________



Mnsan
nhhya
narin
aq
itxt qa
kc bka bz qa,
kya nga kht
dka ngrrply,
pra
sa
akn
ok! lng un...
bsta pg
ayw mu na
tlga mgtxt,
akn nlng
celfon mu ha?...


_______________________________________________________


1gbi
umiiyk
aq
hbng
nkatngin
s
bwan
sbi
ng
bwan
kng
umiiyak
k at cia
ang dhilan
bkt
dmo
cia
iwan?
tpoz
tnanong
ko
cia

ikw b
buwan..

kya mong
iwan ang
langit?????


_________________________________________________________


Ang
"2rue luv"
kpag nwla
mhrap
ng mktang
muli
ang
"feelings"
kpag
nwla
mhrap
ng iblalik
muli
ang
"trust"
kpag
nabutas
"baby"
ang lalabas......u


_______________________________________________________


sometyms
i 4got
2 ask
"mzta kna?"
or
even
missed
2 say
"ano,ok k lng?"
but
it
doesn't
mean
dat i
4get u...


BUSY LNG!
"prang ikw"......u


________________________________________________________


WARNING:

pg-bnasa mo 'to,
crush mo ako.
pg-erase mo,
mhal mo ako.
pg-save
syo na puso ko
pg rply ka,
mg-on na tyo.
sbukan mong
2mwag,
pkkasal ako
syo.....


________________________________________________________


Kung mhal
ka nya,
mhalin
dn
xa
suklian
mo
ang
pgmmhal
na
ibingay
syo
dhil
ang
tmang
mgsukli
mrming
sukli.....


____________________________________________________


d ko
kyang
mwla
ka
dhil
ikw
ung
chaser ko,
gin ko sa shabu,
at lytre ko sa yosi
plagay mo kyanin ko pa kya
pgnwla
ka eh!
adik ako sayo!....


_____________________________________________________


nagguluhan
ako,
db
ung
vc2ry linner,
rural linner,
grand linner,
at super 5 linner
ay mga bus yun eh!...
ung Panty linner
bus dn ba un???!!!


__________________________________________________________


Sharon
gtas
nya
alska,
softdrnks
nya
coca-cola
ice cream
nya
slecta
ulam
nya
cen2ry tuna
snck nya
mcdo
kya
ktwan nya
Superferry...skay na?!!!


__________________________________________________________


Ang
pgkkaibgan
ay
sing
tbay
ng
semn2
sing
tigas
ng
ba2,
sing laks
ng
kamao,
sing
init
ng
apoy,
sing
kamas
at
talong
ctaw,btaw,patani.....


______________________________________________________________

Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages

Mommy1: Ano ang pinapainum mo sa baby mo?
Mommy2: "promil" para sa matatag na pangarap...eh ikaw?
Mommy1: "emperador" para sa totoong tagumpay!



______________________________________________________________



Pedro bumps a foreigner:
Pedro: Ay sori
Foreigner:
Sori 2
Pedro: Sori3
Foreigner: Wat r u sori 4?
Pedro: (kala mo bobo ako ha!) sori 5
Foreigner: I think u r SICK!
Pedro: hahaha! Sick daw, SIX gani!



_____________________________________________________________



Sa isang Museum..
Juan: Ito bang pangit na 'to ang tinatawag nyo na "ART"?! Ang pangit, nakakasuka! Painting ba to?
Guide: Hindi po sir, salamin yan! Hahaha!


____________________________________________________________


"Ang ilog kahit gaano man kalalim ...
hanggang dibdib lang ng duck ... "



____________________________________________________________



KONSEHAL: Paki acknowledge si Mayor. Late dumating, hayun kararaan lang!
PEDRO (Emcee): I WUD LYK TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE LATE MAYOR HU JUST PASSED AWAY.


____________________________________________________________


Pedro: may ka-eyebol aq mamya.. anu kya itsura nia?
kc sbi nya kamkha dw cia celebrity.. "SH" amg cmula
ng name...
Juan: jackpot ka, Pedro! Bka SHeri or SHaina!
(matapos ang eyebol, uwi c Pedro)
Juan: kmusta eyebol mo? Bakit ka mlungkot?
Pedro: "SHrek" ampota!

Visayan Funny Jokes Text Messages 2

EMPLEYADO: boss, namatay naman atong manager pwede ako mu puli sa iyang pwesto?
BOSS: pwede man,........pero ambot kung musugot ang funenaria


________________________________________________________



MOTHER: Anak! nagdugo imong tudlo! ari diri be kay ato supsupon! tsup..tsup.. O wala na. Asa man ka nasamad anak?
ANAK: Wala man ko masamad MA oi! Gipisat man nako ang KUTO sa IRO.


_________________________________________________________


Bungi Gitahi sa DoctorTapos Gitistingan pa pronounce.
DOCTOR: Cge e pronounce
daw
LUZON VISAYAS MINDANAO,
BUNGI: LUKOT , PASAYAN, BULINAO.
DOCTOR: naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! MITAMOOT....


_____________________________________________________________________



Bungi niuli sa ila ug gitabunan niya ang mata sa iyang asawa..
BUNGI: Nges hu??
ASAWA: Pa - nges hu nges hu pa ka dira ikaw ray bungi dinhi sa atong balay..


__________________________________________________________

ANAK: Nay, nag tambling tambling gud me sa skul ganina..
NANAY: Di ba ingon man ko ayaw pag tambling tambling kay makita imo panty?
ANAK: Gisulod man naku sa Bag ako Panty Nay!


____________________________________________________________

Tulo ka kumare ang
nag-istorya.
Mare1: Sus, ako mare pwerte gyud nako ka limtanon kay ang akong pustiso ako mang isud sa ref.
Mare2: Ay wala ra ka nako mare. Mas limtanon pa ko nimo kay kon moagi gani ko sa hagdan, inig abot nako sa tunga-tunga makalimot ko kon pasaka ba ko o panaog.
Mare3: (Dang pangyam-id) Sus, ako mga mare, simbako lang gyud (dang tuktok sa bungbong as in 'knock-on-wood' effect) di ra gyud pod ko intawon limtanon!
(Dayong talikod) Kadyot usa mga mare ha, kay ako usang ablihan ang pultahan kay naay nanuktok.


_____________________________________________________________


Anak: nay buntis ko.. lipong ko..
Nay: dili ka buntis!
Anak: kasukaon ko nay..
Nay: dli lgi ka buntis!
Anak: gusto ko aslum..
Nay: animal kang bayota ka!! kumuton ko nang itlog mo ron!!


_____________________________________________________________


Laki: Kuhaon ko ang mga bitoon og ihatag ko kanimo.
Babae: saba diha! wa man gali ka kakuha anang kugmo gatambisay sa imong ilong...
Laki: AW! sorry day ha..wala man gud ko nasayod nga gusto sad ka ani.....



______________________________________________________________



BABAE: ka gwapo sa pari, unsa man akong buhaton para mapansin sa pari? Ahhh, akong ibutang ning panty naku sa lamesa.
PARI: kinsa nang pante diri sa lamesa?
BABAE: ako padre
PARI: naay tae gamay.


_____________________________________________________________


Osa ka pirata gi interview sa reporter.
Reporter: Nganong imong pikas tiil kahoy man?
Pirata: Ah, naigo ni sa bala unya giputul giilisan na lang ug kahoy.
Reporter: Imong toong kamot naa may hook?
Pirata: Ah, naputol ni sa espada diha nga duna kuy kaaway.
Reporter: Unya imong
pikas mata duna man nai itum nga tabon? (eye patch).
Pirata: Ah, naithan ni ug langgam unya nabuta.
Reporter: Ha? Makabuta diay nang iti sa langgam?
Pirata: Gilugud man gud nako sa akong toong kamut.

Visayan Funny Jokes Text Messages 1

Bisaya went to U.S. to have his penis checked.
In clinic, bisaya pulled down his pants & exclaimed:
SAKIT DOK!
The American Dr. blurted out.
SUCK IT YOURSELF!...


__________________________________________________________________


TITSER: Pedro, 1+3?
PEDRO: 4 mam!
TITSER: Very gud! ikaw Juan 33x61?
JUAN: Mao na ni, kun lisud na gani ako dayun ang pangutan-on.Pabor2x. Abseni nalang ko oi!


_________________________________________________________________


Donya: kay bag-u pa man ka dinhi, gusto ko masayud ka nga ang pamahaw dri alas sais impunto!
JELYN: way blema nyora...kung 2log pako anang orasa, una nalang mu ug kaun!


__________________________________________________________________


Juan: dro, asa dapit ibutang ang mga puti na baye?
Pedro: adto sa langit, himuung angel
Juan: ah! kaning akong asawa kay itum man kau?
Pedro: langit japun pero himuung kwaknit


__________________________________________________________________


SINGING CONTEST
1st contestant: Akong kantahun "dahong laya"
2nd contestant: Akong kantahun "d falling leaves"
3rd contestant: Dli ko mukanta!
Judges: Nganu man..?
3rd contestant: manilhig nalang ko kay daghan sagbot!


__________________________________________________________________


CORRECT PRONUNCIATION
ANAK: Tay, paliti ko bi ug Jucyfruwet
TATAY: anak, dili magbinulok, dili man na jucyfruwet
ANAK: unsa man diay na tay??
TATAY: BAGOLBAM...


__________________________________________________________________


Sa Hospital...
Doktor: Mrs. kinahanglan na jud samentuhon ang tiil sa imong anak! grabe na ang diperensya!
Mrs: Hala oi! mga pila kaha ka sako dok kay palit na ko hardware? Karon dayon aron mauga na ugma.
Anak: Nay oi! pakauwaw ra man ka! sagulan pa gani ug balas!
Doktor: ayaw kalimti ang hollow block ha!!


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APO UG LOLO
APO: Lo, ngano nag kaang kaang man kag lakaw?
LOLO: aw, ayaw nagud ni pansina apo oi
APO: ngano
lagi na lo?
LOLO: ingon mn gud sa akong doktor na likayan ang itlog kay taas ug kolesterol


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Pgkapait
pgkapait

ning celfon way motxt

pgkalaay
pgkalaay

ning unli
way morply

pgkapordoy
pgkapordoy

ning ngbasa
murag 0ngg0y!..


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BF: Paaka!
GF: unsaon?
BF: supsupa ba!
GF: ana?
BF: o, ayw iluwa og
mogawas ha?
GF: dli ko lood!
BF: dli lagui!
GF: yak! nakatulon kog
buhok!
BF: syempre BALOT
gud na!

Visayan Funny Jokes Text Messages

Anak: Tay, hain akon grief?
Tatay: kaw bata ka, dili ka gihapon kabalo. Brief lagi dili grief.
Anal: Aw, hain man tay?
Tatay: tua sa kwarto. Gi hammer!

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Mare1: ka swerti nmo mare oi. Mga gwapo ug gwapa jud imong mga anak.
Mare2: Nah mare, naningkamot kud kog akoa. Kay ug mag salig ko sa akong bana, ay ambot nalang unsay hitsura!

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Ilaga nga manyak. Kita ug baka, gijer2x. Kita ug kanding, gijer2x. Kita ug manok, gijer2x. Kita ug baboy, gijer2x lang gihapon. Then kit-an xa sa iring nga nag-baig-id-bag-id xa sa yuta.
Iring: dah tagam ka lagi manyaka ka. Gikatlan ka noon!
Ilaga: ayaw saba jer2x ko hulmigas.


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Original version: "Do not do unto others, if you don’t want other do unto you."
Bisaya version: "Ayaw mo pag ingun ana, kung mag ingun ana mo ayaw."


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Nagsulat si Dako sa iyang tatay:
Dear tatay,
Padad-e mi ug usa ka kilong bugas ug usa ka dosenang itlog.
Imong anak,
Dako
Si Dako nigawas, unya mi sud si Gamay. Nagisi ni Gamay ang sulat! Gi tipan nila ang sulat. Unya gi-mail dayon.
Pagbasa sa ilang tatay:
Dear bugas,
Padad-e mi ug usa ka kilong tatay ug usa ka dosenang anak.
Imong itlog,
Dako

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Patient: Doc, regular lagi ko malibang kada alas 7 sa buntag.
Doc: o di maau nuon! Unsay problema ana?
Patient: Alas 8 man ko mahigmata doc!


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Si tarzan gipangutana sa tv reporter.
TV reporter: Oi tarzan, gi unsa nimo pagtukod imong balay sa sa ibabaw sa kahoy?
Tarzan: ambot sir, kay nag board rman ko diha!


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Grabeh tong kasakay nako sa bus, cge kiss, dile maulaw!
Ganahan pud and girl!
Gihubo pa Bra, kita jud ang boobs nya!
Bata pa raba ang girl, 20 pa!
Pro mas bata ang boy,6 month's!


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(Ang gwpa o bti lahi ra'bsta gwpa kumo2n
ang 2toy unya hagkan ang nawong!
kung sa bati hagkan ang 2toy unya kumo2n ang
NWONG!)


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Mkalugar ka nxtwk?suroy ta.. ikaw bahla kung asa
imong gus2, ako lng bhala s gasto.
Bsta suroy tag

PLANGGANA,
BALDE,
SILHIG

ikw bit2x, akoy singgit. heheh